*sigh*

I think I'm in love...

He's who I want. He can give me what I want...there are so many feelings going through my body right now. I know that he can be the love of my life. I'm just so scared...

but why? Why am I so scared? Why can't I just let go and let love take it's course?

Maybe I can...I will...

I think =/

FHC ♥

To Be Continued...

xoxo, Noey. ♥

Skinny Jeans & Snow Boots.

MAN! It's been soooo freaking cold lately!

You know this Miami girl has been having a FIT! I hate this weather...I'd rather be so hot and jump in somebody's pool than for it to be so cold that I don't even want to leave the house. #Sheesh!

The last day of the seasonal project for work was December 13th and on the 14th, I took my drug test for my permanent position. Got the call yesterday and I start training on Monday...I am SO excited! Now I can breathe and enjoy my weekend lol. I was tripping because Toy got her phone call the day before & so did MiMi, so I'm like huhhh?! Well, I'll definitely be working, but me and my girlies won't be in the same training class *pouts* It's all good though, at least I know now that I'll have a permanent job.

In other news, it snowed on Bree's birthday!! EEK!

Yes, I have pics lol. I snapped shots of Mommie and the boys to send Alex since he was out in California on deployment. I think he's been gone for about 6 weeks...but he's back now! He came home yesterday. I hope you guys have been GREAT! Enjoy the pics :)

xoxo, Noey. ♥

12.12.86 ♥

Awww! We had SUCH a blast last night!

Brought my sister's birthday in the RIGHT way...ya dig?!

We went to Esso's straight #VIP status! More pics coming soon!

xoxo, Noey.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network via my PurpleBerry.

Over It.

First of all, I got TOO much drama going on in my life!

Not really drama, but so much going on.

I totally broke it off with FHC last night...he's just totally on another level than me. I mean, we both want the same things...but it's so obvious that we take certain things totally differently. He gets in his feelings so much about almost EVERYTHING! That's just something that I don't do and for my MAN to be doing it is just a conflict...at ALL times! We're always arguing about something or disagreeing about something and being that he's in a whole nother state, we obviously can't talk about it face to face which is another issue. It just creates stress and that's something I just don't need right now. Well, I told him how I was feeling last night and that was obviously an argument...

I never finished this blog because I wasn't in the mood to get upset and I'm not in the mood right now to talk about it...but this is just an update.

xoxo, Noey. ♥

Work Randoms: Part 7

OH EM GEE!

My Chocolate Smoothie looks so delicious today! He put his smooth, dark, silky chocolate skin against more than a few bright colors today. He looks so sexy. Man, I want him so bad. Unfortunately, my FHC has me on a pretty strong lock down.

Especially for these past few days! It's been AWESOMEISH! I mean, we've been talking, laughing and just have gone back to how it was when we first started talking. You know how things are THE BEST in the beginning.

I so want to take things further with Smoothie, but for some reason, I can't seem to allow myself to take those steps. I feel so obligated, but unlike how I used to feel...it doesn't feel like a negative thing anymore. I'm starting to get into my feelings so much with FHC (in a good way!) I'm starting to feel again the way I felt when we first started back talking! I simply cannot WAIT until he gets here in January. I am gonna be just so happy, I'm not gonna be able to contain myself...at the same time, I feel like there is so much with Smoothie that I can have...together! We can have our first times together. First marriage, first child, first REAL love. You know? FHC has kids and he's been married before so, even though he makes me feel otherwise, I feel like just another one...

I kind of just want to date them BOTH and see what happens. I just want to fall in love and be happy for the rest of my life. That's the most important thing to me. I want to have a family life with a faithful husband that wants me for me and is well prepared to spoil me with love and honesty. Is that too much to ask for? I feel like I have two guys ready and willing to give me them both, but it's up to me to decide on which one will make it to being my King. I have so much love to give to someone that's worth it. It's not easily just given up, I want someone that feels like I'm worth the work to get to that level. I need a man that will show me how much he loves me and wants to give me the world. I want someone that will show me how much he loves me and can care less who else knows.

In other news,

I had lunch with QT today! Today was one of those genuine days where I didn't feel shy and like a little girl. We had the best conversation. He told me about some list that's going around with some chicks here where they made a top 10 of the male SMEs & someone told him that he's in the Top 5. He said that he responded "I don't know what y'all are talking about, if it ain't Noell, then I don't know who it is." LOL, I told him he is such a liar...I said "OH MY GOD! You did not say my name!" It was cute though!

That was a copy and paste entry from my 'randomness' blog I type while at work :)

xoxo, Noey. ♥

I Can't Believe He's Gone..

I just woke up and I can't go back to sleep...

I can't BELIEVE my Johnny is gone...most people know him as J5th. He passed away 2 days ago, December 3rd. From what I've heard so far, he just didn't wake up out of his sleep. Man, I was on my way to bed & I happened to see somebody's BBM pic change and looked at it. I almost lost control of everything perfect...I couldn't breathe, I started hyperventilating because I just knew that this couldn't be true! I ran to Twitter hoping to see him tweeting, no answer to his phone, no BBM response from him...delivered and STILL not read. He was the flyyest dude walking Dade County lol...I'll just miss him so much! I remember him telling me he was on his way to the A first thing in 2011...he didn't even make it yet :(

Well, he knew that Noey loved her some Johnathan Carty...so I guess that's all that matters & I'm trying to accept the fact that he's no longer here with me. That's the hard part =/

I love you & I'll forever miss you Johnathan "J5th" Carty. ♥

xoxo, Noey.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network via my PurpleBerry.

Johnathan Emmanuel Carty aka J5th ... ♥ :(

Okay...I can't breathe. I JUST left Miami 5 months ago. My ex is locked up & my #MiamiBoo, my sweetheart Johnny Carty aka J5th didn't wake up this morning (December 3rd, 2010)...that was SO unexpected! I'm in so much pain. I'm sick...I'm so full right now, my chest is hurting and I can't function. My hands are shaking as I type this blog. I love you sweetheart! I just can't believe it...

I cannot believe this! How can this happen? I'm so sick...my chest hurts and I feel like throwing up. I will miss you so much...omg! I would have NEVER expected you to be next babes. You were the sweetest, most FLYY thing walkin' the county of Dade. I have more than a few memories with you...especially our Wal-Mart moments! LOL...man, smh. I was supposed to be seeing you here in the A in almost exactly one more month...this was just so unexpected. How does that happen? He just didn't wake up this morning...like, really?

As much as I cannot accept this right now, I know you're in better hands sweetheart! Love you. ♥

xoxo, Noey.

:)

So, I've been happier lately.

Me and FHC talked. I just wish he would come here already. I think that maybe once he's here then things wouldn't be so stressful. We think very differently on a lot of things, but it's not in a horrible way. We just tend to disagree a lot and he likes to go on tangents and it feels to me like I'm receiving a lecture lol...but at the end of the day, he is still my FHC & I'm still FMB. I'm hoping and anticipating for long days and nights of pure bliss. ♥

xoxo, Noey. ♥

Work Randoms: Part 6.

So much is going through my head right now! On some other ish...I had a great weekend though.

So, I'm all in my feelings today. I have so much on my mind. I'm getting one of those feelings again where I'm feeling like a scorned woman that hasn't been through ANYTHING! lol...it's crazy, but it's sooo true! I had break today with QT and he is the most genuine, sweet, caring, most adorable guy ever! I miss him being around. So Toy isn't here today and I'm lonely! I'm starting to realize that our new fans are really hers lol. Nobody except for Koko, MiMi and maybe one other person has came and sat with me and talked today. Usually, our cubicle is the area. Guys in and out lol...but then again, our original fans aren't even here anymore. Dewey, Miguellio, QT, EM...you know they would've came and sat with me to keep me company today. QT is actually still here, they just have him doing a bunch of other stuff so he can't be my everyday fan anymore. LQ, DW and all them other new fans aren't for me, they're for Toy ♥ (gon' boo!). I've been by myself all day and I'm kind of in a slump. I have all of this stuff on my mind and no one to vent to...that's where YOU come in!

It's not that I want to vent, but I just have so much on my heart and on my mind that I can't say out loud and I'm about to burst. I really still have some feelings for AB, but today, I realized that his eyes are for someone else. I was already kind of moving on from that and getting over it because there is no effort on his end. I remember I asked him "what happened to you this wknd, you told me to keep Saturday clear and I didn't even hear from you." This was his response..."why didn't you call me?" BRUH! I've already told you SO much about how I'm feeling...every week I've been texting him trying to ease my way into his schedule, but I am not in the business of chasin NO dude. I'm a cute chick, I don't have to...ME hit YOU up? I already did my part...now if you want me, you gotta come get me and that's that. I noticed that he has his eyes on her though & it's all good. I'm just gonna fall back and keep it strictly friendship like it's been for all of these years. It probably wouldn't work anyway. I kind of feel like he's not ready for long term commitment. It seems like one of those things where "it was good while it lasted." It won't last long...I can feel it. I just don't think it would work betweeen him and I...and that's all good because that's my dude! We're the greatest of friends and that's how it should stay. Point, Blank, Period. Eh.

FHC been on some other ish though. I'm still feeling him and loving him being apart of my life, but lately, he's been in his feelings HARD! Like...seriously. So, yesterday was the anniversary of a hard day in his life (that I knew nothing about)...so, instead of him coming to me and talking to me and letting me be his girl, he calls himself taking his frustration, depression and anger out on me. Bringing up old stuff, re-starting an argument that we had recently and had already came to a solution about. Like..who does that? Females. He's just treading on thin ice with me right now, I still care...but the drama, the bullish, the arguing and the stress is most definitely for the birds. I can't deal with it and I refuse to. I told him that he's turning me off and trust me, once I'm turned all the way OFF. Ain't no turning me back on. Realness.

Just so upset.

All in my feelings today & my Toy isn't here for me to talk to. SMH..

No Pink, Love or Lipgloss today.

Just Bye =/

xoxo, Noey. ♥

Work Randoms: Part 5.

12:02pm - Twelve o'two and I've only had 2 calls for the day. Really?? & they're bringing a new batch of reps on the floor for open season. I think they'll be staying after open season, but still...we're not getting any calls as is. Really? SMH...this is ridiculous. I pulled this up figuring that I mine as well start blogging because I'm about to fall out of my chair from boredom! QT hasn't been coming around as much lately, but he's still here. He didn't leave with the crew for Supervisor training because of the hours, which is understandable being that he has a family. I miss seeing his face though...I really do. RicoSuave has his own team in the back...everybody else is just GONE! AB is my new SME though...yayy! That's been the homie for years, so it's good to have him around 24/7. This weekend was CRAZYYY yo! The party was OTC, AB was there and we grinded a few :) I got supa white girl wasted man smh...

To be continued...

12:07pm - I'm back! Too bored to stay away, I just didn't want a call to come up and I'm sitting here typing. Well, here goes...FHC was supposed to come in town this weekend, but he ended up not being able to rent a car, so he wanted me to drive to Columbia, SC for just Saturday and leave Sunday. That's a def NO GO...so we'll wait. The end of this project is Dec.13th & I'll be off for about 2 weeks before I get on permanent. I figure that I can go and spend about a week with him during my off time instead of driving up there for just ONE day! Man, I'm just so effing lonely right now where it's bothering me to be in this LD thing...it's just not the business. I need physical companionship and this is not cutting it. That's why as the days go by, AB is starting to look better and better...but FHC is the BUSINESS! He actually made me *** over the phone last night for the FIRST time in my life! I have neverrrrrrrr actually done that before. I just can't wait for him to be here with me and never leave. OH YEAH, Happy Birthday BIG BEECH!! Today is his birthday! He's 29!! Woot!!! It's a celebration twitches!! LOL...I know I'm a mess, me love me some him though. Ya digggggggggg?? (in my Brooklyn Beech voice) lol

xoxo, Noey. ♥

Work Randoms: Part 4.

B is SUCH a homewrecker...sooo, she left work early right after QT left. Can we say thirsty? Like, really? I mean...there HAS GOT to be something going on between them & I wanna know if there is or not lol...

Everytime I glance that way, she's in my grill and muggin. I got beef yo! All I know is that she BETTER NOT be at Miguellio's party tomorrow night. Liq in my system and beef? Can we say FIGHTMODE? Chile...I pray she won't be there. I really cannot stand her....I'm not gonna disrespect him like that though.

11:14am - B just cut her eyes at me. Grrrr! LOL.

xoxo, Noey. ♥

Work Randoms: Part 3.

I just realized that I haven't seen AB in about 2 days. I haven't seen QT today just yet. I think they have him in a training again. I would think that AB mght be in a training too, but usually QT would come out every now and then...I just haven't seen AB at all! So, I'm not sure if that's the deal with him or not. I'm gonna text him on my break and see what's been going on with him, I hope he didn't get caught up with anything.

So, I had break with QT today...he's such a sexy human being lol. I think that he's kinda shy with me now that it's OUT like for real, for real...OH, I didn't tell you, did I? He read my effing BLOG! I had it up at work and I was in my own little world. I'm over here just typing away, he's RIGHT next to me helping out Queen with a problem she had and just happened to look and saw me typing...he made me show him EVERYTHING! lol. Bottoms Up, ya heard me? LOL

5:10pm - UGH! QT just left early & I've barely seen him all day today =( THEN Dewey & EM's last day with us is friday...WHAT is going on? I am SO in my feelings right now...can I scream please?

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Thanks.

xoxo, Noey. ♥

Work Randoms: Part 2.

I did say I was coming back, right? 

Welp, here I am :)

10:40am - So, today's a new day and I'm in a GREAT mood. I look super cute today, but I think that my dress might be a bit too short for the job. No one has said anything to me just yet, but at the same time...no one has really seen me. Haven't even gone on my first break yet...Toy says it might be too short, but I went through this whole thing this morning in the mirror...therefore, I'm about to SCREAM!!! "Ahhhhhh!!"

11:00am - Man! Dewitt? That fool is CRAZYYYY! I laugh just at the sight of him, dude is hilarious! Can't help but to love him though lol. Again, these are just my random thoughts at the moment of me thinking them :)

11:50am - So I just put on my sweater and I feel lots better because my dress is long enough in the front, it's just that big ol' booty of mine makes it hella short in the back (even though I checked that too this morning! lol). But I feel better now because I don't think that they will make me go home just judging off of the front of the dress, because the front comes right above my knees. It's this thickness man! smh...

12:20pm - I cannot WAIT until my FHC gets here to Atlanta! I'll see him about 2 times before he actually moves...he should be here the first of the year, 2011. OMG, I'm gonna be the most happy little woman in the world! Geez Louise!

1:04pm - UGH! I got stopped! This admin chick told me that my dress is too short...she said it's not horrible, but it is too short and that I might want to sit down for the rest of the day lol. Sooo...i guess I'll just be wearing pants for the rest of my career (NOT)! I was just telling MiMi (nickname. I'm not using full names on this thing) that I need to buy some pencil skirts.

3:07pm - OMG, I haven't seen QT ALL day except for when I first walked onto the floor this morning & he waved at me :( I think when I was on my way to lunch, I saw him sitting in a training class in front of a computer. Maybe, he's taking his asssessment or training for it. UGHHHH! I'm all dressed up looking cute and I've barely seen him. I usually see him ALL day :( I'm so spoiled, I know...but I'm a princess, so it's expected lol.

4:08pm - OMG, so I just melted...I saw QT standing down the row from me. He looks so good today in his bright powder blue shirt...ugh! He is so sexy it makes no sense...I just wanna KISS HIM IN HIS FACE!!!! ♥ (Not really, FHC will kill me! lol) Just eye candy at work.

4:12pm - So, I know this is hella random, but I really just want a (something that i can't type right now on company computer) .... I'll update that when I get home to my personal computer. Just know that it has something to do with sucking :) Oh yeah! Miguellio's birthday is Sunday, so he's having a party on Saturday. Me and Toy are going to meet at her other job and we're gonna head over there together. Hopefully, MiMi meets up with us and we'll all go together! FUN, FUN, FUN!!! I'm ready to have a ball and shake my tailfeather. I hope QT will be there, but I doubt it! & If he does come, he'll be wih his wife *rolls eyes* I am SO not trying to see him outside of work! I do wanna kinda be naughty, but I can't...my morals won't let me (Moral #1: He's Married! & Moral #2: Me loveee my FHC!) I believe in Karma and she is a BIG biatch...don't want nobody messing with my husband...ya dig!

6:06pm - SO...OMG, he's talking to me! I think he is so effing sexy!! He's coming to Miguelllio's party...BY HIMSELF! Uh oh, spagghetios! LOL...he asked me if I'm going to be dancing, I said 'yeah, of course!" This fool said "uh oh, that means I gotta wear my sweatpants!" LOL...such a flirt! He is a hott mess, I swear...I know he's a freak, but I'm not gonna cross that line. I have too much respect for the married life *shrugs* hey, it is what it is. If FHC wasn't in the picture, I would kiss him though! LOL & when I say kiss, I mean, I'll slob him down...LAWD ha mercy! Again, these are my random thoughts are the moment I'm thinking them.

Sometimes, I just sit and wonder when and where I will end up in life. My future, my life, my career, my husband, my children. ALL of that. Sometimes, I dream about random things that happen in everyday life. Things that make absolutely no sense to dream about. One of those dreams where you wake up and you're like WHAT? That was random...What made me dream about that?

xoxo, Noey. ♥

Work Randoms: Part 1.

I'm on my rocker. I support breast cancer awareness. I am african american, but Bahamian decent. I love music. I live in the pursuit of everything pink. I am from the 'City of Caprices and Impalas' - Miami. My celebrity hubbies are Tyrese, Chad Johnson and Idris Elba. I love my family. I love my friends, my real friends. I'm easy to get along with and pretty friendly. I'm popular. I'm likeable. I'm smart. I'm fashionable in a simply chic way. I love lipgloss. Pink, Love and Lipgloss...three ways to say I love you. I'm obviously random. I love photography. I love God. I love to write and read. I can be your best friend, but your worst enemy. I mind my business, but everyone always wants to tell me theirs. I love love. I want to be in love. I want to be the woman that a man thinks is the most awesome human being he's ever met. I want to be the woman some man one day thinks about as much as I'll be thinking about him. I want to be the one to keep a smile on his face. I want to be the definition of love to someone one day. I want to be the woman of his dreams. I want to make someone one day fully satisfied mentally, physically and emotionally so that he will need no other. I want to be his everything!

I so needed to vent today, not because I'm upset about anything, but because I just needed an outlet of emotions. This is just it. I pray that God leads me through all of my decisions and let me stray down the path of his will and his righteousness. I am so in love with the love of the Lord and I want to be wrapped in his arms forever. That reminds me, I want a God fearing man that can keep me walking in the will of God. I refuse to marry a man that is not a God fearing Christian. I will not stand at an alter under the eyes of God and become one with someone who does not share similar beliefs with me. I am currently in a position where I am sinning. I am lusting over a married man, that's a big no no...but I see him EVERY DAY & I must say, he is eye candy to me. I try to just look past it and remember, that I can only be his friend...but GEEZUM! He's gorgeous to me...Lord knows that I feel bad about it. Yesterday, I was so in my feelings about it that he could tell something was wrong with me. He kept asking me to talk to him, but no can do. I cannot tell him the way I feel. We harmlessly flirt with each other, but it's not in a horrible way...like I said, it's harmless. But I KNOW that if I take it any further, then it will not be good...AT ALL, but it is what it is. He knows what he does to me. I think he knows how I feel. I think he understands that if he wasn't married, it would be a holyfield wrap! Unfortunately, there is nothing that either him or I can do at this point...he's just sexy for no reason and I'm adorable for absolutely a couple reasons, but he cannot do anything about it. It is what it is. Well, obviously, I'm back into the blogging world...my little fingers won't stop moving and I'm ALL into my feelings. It makes no sense how many emotions and thoughts are going through me right now. I feel like a scorned woman that's never been through anything LOL...that's the most retarded thought I've ever had...but it's true. I be in my feelings for like, NO REASON, but plenty reasons at the same time...I have like 3 or 4 guys right now that I'm trying to decide between & one of em, I can't even put my hands on!! Like, this is stupid but it's so real...what the eff be wrong with me yo?

OMG, I just happened to look one way and I just saw him. "WHYYYY!"...is the only thing that goes through my head & he lovesss me so he's always talking to me, but when i be in my feelings, I always feel some type of way when I'm talking to him..so I act like a little girl & just shy my face away from reality. It's so sad that I'm such a good girl because TRUST AND BELIEVE, if I wasn't...smh. It would not be good. AT ALL....like I said before, it would be a holyfield wrap. Hold up! Time out!! Touchdown! Foul on the play! LOL...all of that plus some.

So for some reason, this man feels as if I try super hard to get his attention. You know how those thirsty girls will walk by a guy in hopes that he's looking at her butt and they'll switch extra hard hoping that he's watching. He told me that that's what I do...but he said that I KNOW that he'll look, so I'll walk by him on purpose with my "sassy little walk" just to tease him which is SO not true! The only reason he feels that way is because he knows he can't do anything with what he's looking at lol. He drives me crazy, I swear.

Everytime I see him, I want to write something else about him! I can't deal with these feelings that I have because I don't want to push him away from being my friend. I can't deal with them because me telling him the way I feel (as if he doesn't know) won't do any good and may make him feel uncomfortable being that he is a married man. I remember when we first got real cool, we were talking about how females will try to deal with a guy knowing that he's married and how it is such a turn off. I just don't want to be categorized as one of those females and end up being a turn off to him and it come between our friendship. I always get into my little girl mode when he comes around because I instantly catch myself beginning to possibly flirt with him or give him the "come and get it' eye lol...it's just not a good situation and I tend to shy myself away...the other day he said "what's wrong with my baby? why she be giving me these faces man?" It made me blush sooo hard on the inside, but I knew I couldn't take it too serious because of his status.

To be continued..

xoxo, Noey. ♥

PSA: Privacy.

Hey babes & lovers!

I'm posting this blog to let you all know that I will begin to block my blog postings except for specific readers. Blogger asks that I place the emails of the people that I am allowing to read my blogs, therefore, I need you all to comment on this blog here with your email addresses so that I may add you all as readers. You will receive a VIP email invitation to my blog as my reader...you MUST accept it to continue to read about my life.

That is all :)

Thanks for your cooperation.

p.s.

LMAO! I know that was SO formal and professional...just not really in a blogging mood tonight. I'm getting up on it soon though! YEEEEE...love you all!

Pink, Love & Lipgloss.

Three ways to say "I Love You."

xoxo, Noey. ♥

Update.

I know it's been a HOTT minute since I've last blogged...but I'm missing my little online journal! So, I'm back at it. I'm online right now, so I decided to do an update.

Well last you guys heard from me, I was in Miami. That was back in December...so merry christmas & Happy New Year 2010! LOL. My birthday was Feb. 1st so Happy Bday to me :) ummm...yeah, fast forward.

I mainly went back home to Miami to finish up my degree that I had started on. I graduated from Miami Dade on Saturday, May 1st, 2010 :) Got my Associates Degree!

I came back to Atlanta at the end of June, so that's where I am now. I had planned on staying home in Miami, but being there, I realzed that there isn't much there for me anymore. Family and Friends, yeah...but the future doesn't look bright in Miami. Atlanta is a way better place; more opportunities, a positive environment and it's a better place to raise a family (when I have one).

I'm still job hunting, but I have a little side hustle working with Mommie as her Real Estate Assistant. I'm enjoying being back wih my Mommie and my friends here, life is good. You gotta make the best of it, doesn't make sense to sit around pouting about the things that AREN'T happening. I had a phone interview a couple days ago with FedEx (fingers crossed!) for a customer service position, I believe in the call center. I'm hopeful for that job...if I get hired, then I'll be starting on October 25th.

I really just wanted to update you guys though!
I'll be updating more often, like I said in my last post I found an easy way to blog from Blackberry :)

Love you all!

Pink, Love & Lipgloss.

xoxo, Noey.

Testing 1, 2, 3.

#Random :)

Just testing out this new mobile2blogger thing on my Blackberry.

YES! Plenty updates are to come! I'm so #TeamBlackberry now ;-)

-Pretty Pink.
Sent via my Purpleberry.