So much is going through my head right now! On some other ish...I had a great weekend though.
So, I'm all in my feelings today. I have so much on my mind. I'm getting one of those feelings again where I'm feeling like a scorned woman that hasn't been through ANYTHING! lol...it's crazy, but it's sooo true! I had break today with QT and he is the most genuine, sweet, caring, most adorable guy ever! I miss him being around. So Toy isn't here today and I'm lonely! I'm starting to realize that our new fans are really hers lol. Nobody except for Koko, MiMi and maybe one other person has came and sat with me and talked today. Usually, our cubicle is the area. Guys in and out lol...but then again, our original fans aren't even here anymore. Dewey, Miguellio, QT, EM...you know they would've came and sat with me to keep me company today. QT is actually still here, they just have him doing a bunch of other stuff so he can't be my everyday fan anymore. LQ, DW and all them other new fans aren't for me, they're for Toy ♥ (gon' boo!). I've been by myself all day and I'm kind of in a slump. I have all of this stuff on my mind and no one to vent to...that's where YOU come in!
It's not that I want to vent, but I just have so much on my heart and on my mind that I can't say out loud and I'm about to burst. I really still have some feelings for AB, but today, I realized that his eyes are for someone else. I was already kind of moving on from that and getting over it because there is no effort on his end. I remember I asked him "what happened to you this wknd, you told me to keep Saturday clear and I didn't even hear from you." This was his response..."why didn't you call me?" BRUH! I've already told you SO much about how I'm feeling...every week I've been texting him trying to ease my way into his schedule, but I am not in the business of chasin NO dude. I'm a cute chick, I don't have to...ME hit YOU up? I already did my part...now if you want me, you gotta come get me and that's that. I noticed that he has his eyes on her though & it's all good. I'm just gonna fall back and keep it strictly friendship like it's been for all of these years. It probably wouldn't work anyway. I kind of feel like he's not ready for long term commitment. It seems like one of those things where "it was good while it lasted." It won't last long...I can feel it. I just don't think it would work betweeen him and I...and that's all good because that's my dude! We're the greatest of friends and that's how it should stay. Point, Blank, Period. Eh.
FHC been on some other ish though. I'm still feeling him and loving him being apart of my life, but lately, he's been in his feelings HARD! Like...seriously. So, yesterday was the anniversary of a hard day in his life (that I knew nothing about)...so, instead of him coming to me and talking to me and letting me be his girl, he calls himself taking his frustration, depression and anger out on me. Bringing up old stuff, re-starting an argument that we had recently and had already came to a solution about. Like..who does that? Females. He's just treading on thin ice with me right now, I still care...but the drama, the bullish, the arguing and the stress is most definitely for the birds. I can't deal with it and I refuse to. I told him that he's turning me off and trust me, once I'm turned all the way OFF. Ain't no turning me back on. Realness.
Just so upset.
All in my feelings today & my Toy isn't here for me to talk to. SMH..
No Pink, Love or Lipgloss today.
Just Bye =/
xoxo, Noey. ♥
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